Today is the release day launch for Candy Sloane’s The Reality O. I am so excited to share this erotic comedy with y’all. Candy is sharing an excerpt with us today, so be sure to check out all the info!!!
The Reality O Synopsis:
Fifteen Contestants, Twelve Episodes & One Very Big O
When my best friend Allie posted about my need for an inaugural O on a prominent dating website it was meant to be a joke.
A joke she was supposed to delete.
But her post started an internet and media frenzy and, when I was offered fifty thousand dollars to star in my own reality competition show, I had no choice but to say yes.
The Orgasm Virgin was supposed to help me meet a carnal companion who could finally bring me to climax.
Unfortunately, the one person I want to win the undying allegiance of my, well, you know, can’t be in the running at all.
Now in an L.A. mansion with fifteen very persuasive contestants vying for my attention and one undeniably sexy Production Assistant secretly getting it all the word ACTION has a whole new meaning…
Candy Sloane is an erotica author and the fictional creation of Lisa Burstein from the New Adult novel Sneaking Candy. The Orgasm Virgin is her debut novel.
Author’s Note: This book is about sex. There are men kissing women, women kissing women, and men kissing lady parts. It is not meant for readers under eighteen, or my mother.
BUY IT HERE:
This is some funny smut!
If you love reality television, romantic comedies & smut novels the you have to read The Reality O. We begin by meeting Christine (Chris), a librarian and self-proclaimed bibliophile who is fairly reserved. And then we meet Allie, her best friend and polar opposite: an anchor on local news station who loves the spotlight & isn’t afraid to say (out loud) what she thinks. Apparently a night of drunken debauchery led to Allie posting on Craigslist that Chris was searching for a man who could assist her in obtaining her first orgasm (not accomplished by her own hand). The post goes viral and MTV finds their next new semi-sleazy reality show.
The rest of the book follows Chris’ interactions with the contestants in this reality show, or as they’re aptly nicknamed: the Gasms. And It. Is. Hilarious. It’s also pretty hot & steamy after Chris meets Scott, the sexy production assistant. HELLO DELICIOUSNESS.
The Reality O had me laughing out loud – Christine just cannot catch a break and the poor girl is dished out one embarrassing moment after the next. The Gasms also amused me at every turn – I especially loved Tongue & MD. My heart was aching for poor Cowboy who seemed to take the whole thing a bit more seriously than he should. Give the man a spinoff! Each date had me either gasping with pleasure or gasping because I was laughing so hard. Note: dining in the dark may be one of my new favorite date ideas…well, as long as it’s done with Scott there, because, Sweet Jesus. *fans self* [exclusive excerpt of this scene below!!!!]
I loved watching Scott and Chris sneak around, learn about each other & have a great time doing it. There’s no major jealousy or lies or pitting one person against the other, and I loved the light and fun feel to the whole story. I think I needed a book like this. Smart, witty, sexy & fun: I really enjoyed this book!!
[I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review]
This is from Episode Six: “Blind Date”. All the reality show participants are at a restaurant eating dinner in pitch black, or as its sometimes called “Dinner in the Dark” Enjoy!
All of a sudden I felt a hand sliding up my leg from under the table. My body tensed and I screamed.
“Try to stay quiet,” Scott whispered into the receiver in my ear. “It’s me. I thought we could have a little alone time. Tell them you spilled water on yourself.”
Scott was under the table? Who was manning the camera? What if someone noticed?
“Chris, you okay?” Allie asked.
“Answer her,” he whispered against my knee.
“Yeah, just spilled my water,” I replied, spilling it for proof. Unfortunately I couldn’t see and it went all over me. It was fine, at least now every part of me was wet.
“Garrett is watching the feed, but I have the shot set from the tablecloth up. If we get caught, I’m screwed, but I couldn’t help myself. You make me wild and reckless,” he whispered.
A waiter came up behind me and handed me a napkin and a new glass.
“Your dress was so tight I was pretty sure you couldn’t be wearing any panties,” Scott said into my ear.
Damn, in addition to Scott’s many other talents, I guess he was also a panty psychic.
“The thought of you without panties made me so crazy I had to know.” He slipped his head under my dress and between my legs, laying small kisses along my upper thighs. “Glad to see I was right,” he crooned, starting to go at me with his tongue.
Well, who needs an appetizer?
“It wasn’t fair that you were the only one tasting something amazing tonight,” he whispered into my receiver “Stay quiet, stay hot.”
I sipped at my replaced water, or attempted to.
I listened as the waiter described the next course: grilled endive and calamari, but, with Scott’s tongue working me over, all I could taste was metal. My heart felt like it was going to fly out of my chest—it was impossible to keep still. I wanted to rock against him, to moan, to tell him I liked it, hell, I fucking loved it, but I knew I had to stay totally motionless, totally silent. It was like his mouth was a heat source, and I was trying to keep from boiling over, when the whole point was boiling over.
“What do you think, Chris?” my best friend Allie asked.
“I think…” My words were labored. Scott didn’t even stop, if anything, he went faster like he wanted me to respond with my opinion of what he was doing to me. I could feel him stroking me with his thick, wet tongue.
“It’s amazing, ahhh…”
“Stay quiet if you want me to be able to finish you off,” he whispered into my ear piece.
“Amazing, ah-mazing. Sorry,” I said, trying to recover, “I’ve just never tasted anything so good.”
I definitely wanted Scott to be able to finish me off. I wanted it more than anything. I saw the release his tongue offered like a light at the end of all this darkness, a blinding, stupefying light.
“It’s okay,” Allie said. “I wouldn’t scream out its name in bed or anything.”
Scott, I screamed in my head, because I would scream out his name in bed. I wanted to scream it out now, to beg him to continue. Scott, make me come the way only you can.
“Good girl,” Scott whispered, going right back to licking me like mad. A heat bloomed up from my core. I steadied myself against the table with both hands. “You taste so good,” Scott hummed. “Come for me.”
I bit the inside of my lip and the tang of blood hit my tongue, the pain matched only by the pleasure I couldn’t show.
He went at me harder. My orgasm started to escalate, a deluge of burns being doused, Scott’s tongue igniting a flame that my willing body flooded out. My insides convulsed like they were clapping for him. All I could do was hold on tight and enjoy the ride, and I did again and again.
Candy Sloane Bio:
Candy Sloane is an erotic romance author and the fictional creation of Lisa Burstein from the New Adult Novel Sneaking Candy. The Reality O is her debut novel.
Lisa Burstein is the author of the Young Adult Novels: Pretty Amy and Dear Cassie, and the New Adult Novels & Novellas: Sneaking Candy, The Next Forever, The Possibility of Us, and Again. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her very patient husband, a neurotic dog and two cats.
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