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Tag: Funny Smut

Release Day & Review: Forever Pucked by Helena Hunting

 

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Blurb:

Being engaged to Alex Waters, team captain and the highest paid NHL player in the league, is awesome. How could it not be?

In addition to being an amazing hockey player, he’s an incurable romantic with an XL heart, and an XXL hockey stick in his pants. And he knows how to use it. Incredibly, orgasmically well. Alex is the whole package and more. Literally. Like his package is insane. Total world record holder material.

So it makes complete sense that Violet Hall can’t wait to nail him down to the matrimonial mattress and become Mrs. Violet Waters.

It’s so romantic.

Violet is totally stoked to set a date.

Eventually. At some point. Likely before the next millennium. Or when Violet stops getting hives every time someone brings up the wedding, and their mothers stop colluding on stadium sized venues. Whichever comes first.

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REVIEW:

If you haven’t read this series yet, then get yourself out from under your romancelandia rock and pick it up. It’s laugh-out-loud funny that will make you actually LAUGH OUT LOUD instead of just typing LOL in your review. Violet is back with her zany, out of control, ridiculous antics that cover up her sensitive side. She’s witty, smart and incredibly inappropriate. We’re friends.

Alex is the same alpha male that belies a softer side whenever he’s near Violet. They’re like planets that rotate around each other and warm each other’s hearts…and bodies. There’s a lot of warming of bodies in this book. Even with all of the drama – that you will thankfully be able to handle – there is absolutely no doubt that Alex and Violet love each other with their whole selves. Super MC and The Beave also love each other. Lots. AND LOTS.

There’s hockey and hotness and more Super MC outfits that you’re dying to read about. There’s even a Things My Dick Does reference!! If that’s not enough to get you read this book I don’t know what will.

I got pucked HARD. and I liked it. 5 stars!

[I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review]

I SCREAM

Blog Tour & Review: Play Me by Katie McCoy

 

 

Title: Play Me
Author: Katie McCoy
Genre: Contemporary Romance
 Release Date: January 27, 2016
Blurb

Recipe For:A Roll In The Hay Hot Crossed Buns Love

Ingredients:

1 Chef (equal parts sexy and carefree)

1 Pianist (equal parts uptight and endearing)

1/8 inch of drywall between their apartments

2 opinions on everythingCombine all ingredients, mix vigorously, and be prepared for an explosion of heat.

Pianist Ella Thomas is training for the competition of her life. Finally in an apartment of her own, she can practice from dawn till dusk.

But she didn’t bet on the sexy and frustrating neighbor keeping her up all night – even if he does cook like a maestro and kiss like it’s his job.

Jake Matson is living his dream as Head Chef at one of the most popular restaurants in San Francisco. He’s easy going, flirtatious and not looking for love. He didn’t expect to be completely distracted by the girl next door, whose buttoned-up appearance hides the seductive firecracker underneath.

What happens when opposites attract? As their tension fires up, can they create a new kind of music together or will everything boil over?

Purchase Links

REVIEW:

Sweet and playful, McCoy plays your heart against your stomach in her second novel. What happens when the head chef of the top restaurant who is struggling to be better than his predecessor meets a driven pianist who is trying desperately to come into herself and win a huge competition – I’ll tell you: lots of heat, lots of noise, and little bit of miscommunication.

Jake’s just taken over as the head chef – he’s under a shit ton of pressure, causing him to work long – late – hours and ignore any desire he has to pursue a relationship. Ella’s just left a relationship with her piano teacher. That due is a self-absorbed asshole who doesn’t deserve to get laid, but hey, my opinion and all that. Thankfully, she realizes that too. I connected with both characters and really liked their interaction.

This isn’t a heavy book by any stretch of the imagination. This is pure fun entertainment and the characters will easily whisk you away into their world. This book is fun but heavy on the puns and a bit full of cheese at the end – sort of like a mozzarella stick – but it was equally delicious.

The desire, banter and easy writing are all present, leaving you incredibly satisfied. 4 stars!

[I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review]

Author Bio

 

Katie McCoy is a self proclaimed sushi addict, Cardinals baseball fanatic, and lover of all things theatrical. A St. Louis native transplanted to Brooklyn, she acts, sings, and shakes her booty when she isn’t writing books about hot men and the girls who love them.
Author Links
Giveaway

 

Review: Pucked Over by Helena Hunting

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Available on January 24, 2016!

Preorder links:

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1LWG7iV
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Google Play: http://bit.ly/1IBe10R

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Blurb:

Lily LeBlanc isn’t versed in the art of casual sex, but after seven years in an on-again, off-again relationship, she’s definitely willing to give it a shot. And who better to try it with than her best friend’s boyfriend’s best friend? What could possibly go wrong?

NHL player, Randy Ballistic, lives up to his last name on the ice and in the bedroom. His best friend and teammate has recently given up the puck bunnies and traded them in for a real girlfriend. And she just happens to have a seriously feisty, extra-hot best friend on the rebound. Randy’s more than happy to be Lily’s spring board back into the dating scene.

But casual sex is only casual until those pesky things called emotions get involved. Once that happens, someone’s bound to get pucked over.

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Review:

Funny, romantic, charming and downright hilarious, Pucked Over had me dying to get near Balls…Randy Ballistic that is. This entire series is admittedly over the top – Helena purposefully jokes around, puns incredibly hard, and writes in a way that will make you smile. Since I love a good pun, this is exactly up my alley.

What surprised me here is that this book had a little bit more depth than the first two. Randy actually had some issues that he was working through and he shows more vulnerability than I had expected. Let’s meet Randy, shall we? He’s the puck bunny prince – I say this only because I’m pretty sure Lance is (was?!) the King. The man can pull tail and he certainly doesn’t hide it. The bunnies even have social media groups for his rejects. Ouch.

But he’s rejecting them because he’s not looking for anything serious – the second that happens he’s out. Until Lily. He knows she’s not a bunny but he can’t keep himself from wanting her in an animalistic way. Randy’s transformation isn’t overnight but his little moments of endearment were surprisingly tender.

But don’t let that sweet stuff fool you too much, he and Lily also like to fuck in bathrooms. A lot. So get ready for that. It’s a thing. And it’s funny. Their sexual prowess together is pretty impressive. Like standing-ovation-I’m-pretty-sure-my-vagina-would-fall-off impressive.

Now, while I love Violet (I do) I felt that there was a little bit too much emphasis on her in this book. I don’t know why, I mean, I know she’s funny as fuck, but she’s also literally insane in many ways and I was a little confused as to why she was the main focus in scenes. I really really liked Lily a lot. I wished her character had a teensy bit more of a substantive development in the same way that Randy did, but she also didn’t have as far to come *cough* so I digress.

This book is full of lots of puns & pucking – and you’re going to love it! Get ready to go ballistic! 4.5 stars!

[I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review]

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Catch up with the entire Pucked Series!

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My review is HERE

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With a famous NHL player for a stepbrother, Violet Hall is well acquainted with the playboy reputation of many a hockey star. So of course she isn’t interested in legendary team captain Alex Waters or his pretty, beat-up face and rock-hard six-pack abs. When Alex inadvertently obliterates Violet’s misapprehension regarding the inferior intellect of hockey players, he becomes much more than just a hot body with the face to match.

Suffering from a complete lapse in judgment, Violet discovers just how good Alex is with the hockey stick in his pants. Violet believes her night of orgasmic magic with Alex is just that: one night. But Alex starts to call. And text. And email and send extravagant—and quirky—gifts. Suddenly, he’s too difficult to ignore, and nearly impossible not to like.

The problem is, the media portrays Alex as a total player, and Violet doesn’t want to be part of the game

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My review is HERE

Amazon.com: http://amzn.to/1LQEclc
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Miller “Buck” Butterson has been banging his way through life ever since a puck to the face fixed his messed up front teeth. After five years in the NHL, deflecting goals on the ice and scoring them with puck bunnies, Miller has decided he’s ready for a girlfriend. A real, non-bunny girlfriend to take on dates, and not jump into bed with after five seconds of conversation.

Miller thinks he’s found that woman in his teammate’s sister. Except, unlike team captain and all-around nice guy Alex Waters—who happens to date his stepsister, Miller’s media reputation as a manwhore is well earned. Beyond that minor detail, Miller doesn’t know the first thing about relationships or the time and effort they require.

Miller learns—eventually—that if he wants to make Sunshine “Sunny” Waters fall for him, he’s going to have to do a whole lot more than show her his stick skills in the bedroom.

Connect with the Author:

Website: http://www.helenahunting.com/
Amazon: http://amzn.to/1y6OBB7
Twitter:  http://bit.ly/1vOjANY
Facebook: http://on.fb.me/Zt1xm5
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Instagram: http://instagram.com/helenahunting
Goodreads: http://bit.ly/1uBCqJJ

Release Day Review: Pucked Up by Helena Hunting

Author: Helena Hunting

Book: Pucked Up

tl;dr recommendation: Murphy’s law meets romantic comedy that will have you looking at Yeti’s in a suddenly sexual way. 5 stars – #MustRead.

Book Summary:

Miller “Buck” Butterson has been banging his way through life ever since a puck to the face fixed his messed up front teeth, and he was drafted into the NHL during his first year of college. After five years of deflecting goals on the ice and scoring them with puck bunnies across the Continental US and parts of Canada, Miller is ready for a girlfriend. A real girlfriend of the non-bunny variety. One he takes on dates and doesn’t jump into bed with after five seconds of conversation.

Miller thinks he’s found that woman in his teammate’s sister. Except, unlike Alex Waters, center, team captain and all round nice guy—who happens to be dating his step-sister—Miller’s manwhore reputation is well earned, and not blown out of proportion by the media. Beyond that minor detail, Miller doesn’t know the first thing about having a girlfriend. But he’s determined to make it happen.

What he doesn’t take into account is the amount of time and effort relationships require, or that constantly letting bunnies take selfies with him to post all over social media isn’t going to win him any points in the boyfriend department. Miller learns—not so quickly—that if he wants to make Sunshine “Sunny” Waters fall for him, he going to have to do a whole lot more than show her his stick skills in the bedroom.

Longer Review:

Motherpucking hilarious! Pucked Up is a combination of Murphy’s law meets romantic comedy that will have you looking at Yeti’s in a suddenly sexual way.

We all remember Buck from Pucked – he’s Violet’s stepbrother, teammate of the infamous Alex Waters of MC fame. Buck doesn’t always say the smartest things, but he’s not dumb. He is, however, a puck bunny aficionado. At least he was until he met Alex’s sister, Sunny Waters.

Suddenly the only flavor of the month that he’s craving is granola. Sunny’s a vegan, sort of hippy, but totally sweet girl who still lives with her parents in Canada. While Buck can’t seem to keep himself out of social media nightmares, Sunny’s desperately trying to figure out if she can handle all that comes with being with Buck.

There are so many amazing moments in this book. Each character is developed so well – and I adored that Violet is all over this book. Her sound advice and oversharing demonstrate the perfect brother/sister relationship. Just when you think that the situations can’t get more out of control – they can. It’s so ridiculous, yet so fantastic.

Pucked Up is well done from every angle. Helena writes an engaging story that made me swoon, facepalm and actually laugh out loud. Believable characters twine with intelligent writing, which makes for an easy, fun and perfect read. This is an absolute five star #MustRead. LOVED.

[I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review]

Review: Nuts by Alice Clayton

Author: Alice Clayton

Book: Nuts (Hudson Valley #1)

tl;dr recommendation: I didn’t have a farmer fantasy before, but I sure as hell do now.

Book Summary:

From New York Times bestselling author Alice Clayton, the first in a brand-new romance series telling the humorously sexy tale of Roxie, a private chef who gets a taste of love—but is it to stay, or to go?

After losing almost all of her clients in one fell swoop following an accident involving whipped cream, private chef to Hollywood’s elite Roxie Callahan gets a call from her flighty mother, saying she’s needed home in upstate New York to run the family diner. Once she’s back in the Hudson Valley, local organic farmer Leo delivers Roxie a lovely bunch of walnuts, and soon sparks—and clothing—begin to fly. Leo believes that everything worth doing is worth doing slowly…and how! But will Roxie stay upstate, or will the lure of West Coast redemption tempt her back to Tinseltown?

Longer Review:

Sweet, wholesome and delightfully puntastic, Clayton makes us laugh while showing us how to fall in love. I was expecting humor and while sometimes it felt a little too ridiculous, I definitely cracked more than a few smiles. And Roxie cracked a whole lot of nuts…;)

Just when I thought I had figured it all out and I actually became a little complacent, there was a twist that I didn’t see coming. THAT made me smile the most. Roxie is also just so much fun. She’s just a normal girl who has all of those insecurities about falling back into her old home town.

Sometimes going back to the place where you began – the place you fought so hard to break free from – forces you to look at yourself a little differently and face the ghosts that you tried so hard to break. While Roxie goes through these emotions, it’s not a heavy book, NOT AT ALL. There’s so much lightness mixed in, that you forget a little that Roxie is trying to sort through and organize her internal pantry.

And LEO. ohgoodheavens. I didn’t have a farmer fantasy before, but I sure as hell do now. He is home grown perfection. Scorching eyes, rough hands, and a witty mouth have Roxie at the ready to till his soil until the cows come home. Too much? NEVER.

They are perfectly matched and yet imperfectly timed. It’s so sweet to see them try to keep things casual when it’s blatantly obvious to everyone that it’s so much more. If you’re looking for a lot of back and forth banter, awkwardly hilarious scenes and steaming heat, Clayton delivers. This is funny smut wrapped in one of those pretty cupcake boxes. Nuts is delicious and sweet with just the right amount of spice. 4.5 stars!

[I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review]

Blog Tour & Review: Sacked by Jen Frederick

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LINKS:
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BLURB

What he wants he gets…

Knox Masters is a quarterback’s worst nightmare. Warrior. Champion. And…virgin. Knox knows what he wants–and he gets it. All American Football player? Check. NFL pros scouting him? Check. Now, he’s set his sight on two things. The national title. And Ellie Campbell. Sure, she’s the sister of his fellow teammate, but that’s not going to stop him. Especially not when he’s convinced Ellie is the one.

…but he’s never met her before.

But Ellie isn’t as sure. She’s trying to start a new life and she’s not interested in a relationship…with anyone. Beside it’s not just her cardinal rule of never dating her brother’s teammates that keeps her away, but Ellie has a dark secret that would jeopardize everything Knox is pursuing.

Knox has no intention of losing. Ellie has no intention of giving in.

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REVIEW
SACKED comes with a free book hangover. It is perfection. My heart is bursting and I’m smiling stupidly and I’ve stayed up way too late to finish this book and IDGAF. If every book made me laugh and swoon like this one, I may never leave the house. This book plucked at all my feels, like it was fine-tuning a guitar, and I loved every second of it.
Knox is the most popular football player at college – he’s the Head Jock of All Jocks and he wears the title proudly; however, he’s not the jerk you’d make him out to be. Knox is, by far, my favorite player…and not the way it sounds. He’s a virgin – and proud of it. His kisses are disarming, his spirit is pure and so is his virtue. Good lord, I loved every fucking second of his deflowering.
Eliot, or Ellie, is the girl with the boys name, who is constantly looked at as second to her older brother, a teammate of Knox’. He’s the reason she’s at the same school. He’s the reason she takes extra classes. He’s the reason she can never get out from under her parents’ thumb. But the thing is, she loves her brother. Their relationship is symbiotic, awesome, and really sweet. Frederick plays up the sibling rivalry but also shows us the nice side of having a sibling who is close to you in age.
I thought that the drama would stem from Ellie’s relationship with Jack’s teammate. And I was wrong. Ellie has been so used to being known as second best that she can’t seem to understand how she’s first to Knox. Fuck, the sexual tension. It’s outstanding, boiling and completely hot.
Not only does Frederick know how to write, but she also writes new scenes that I’ve never read before. A bathroom scene where neither touches the other but yet so much is released. I was nearing combustion myself by the time Ellie and Knox came together. SO HOT.
While I loved every sexy bit of this book, STACKED is about so much more than sex. Witty banter and solid feelings moved this story straight into my favorites column. I’m floored with adoration for every little piece of this book, it’s characters and their love. I didn’t want this story to end. ALL THE STARS!
[I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review]
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​EXCERPT

I lock my legs to keep from falling over and pull out the biggest barrel I have. “Masters, there are things about me that if you knew you wouldn’t want to spend another minute in my presence.”

He considers my words, the silence taking on a heaviness and part of me already aches for what I could have if I was just any other girl at Western. “Have you killed anyone?” he finally asks. I can feel his eyes assessing me and I keep my gaze averted afraid of what

I’ll see in his moss green gaze.

“No.”

“Have you slept with my brother?”
“What?” I can’t prevent myself from gawking at Masters, who’s smiling as he asks the question. “No! God, I’ve never even met him!”

“Are you catfishing poor athletes from Auburn? Wait, don’t answer that because I don’t think I’d find that objectionable. Oh, I have it—” He snaps his fingers.

“This isn’t a joke, Masters.”

He tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “Until you tell me what it is, it’s not a reason to be apart either.”

I suck in my lower lip to prevent throwing myself at him and telling him to take me.

“Why?” I ask helplessly.

“Because I like you.”

He grips me by the chin and lays down gentlest, sweetest kiss. In that kiss he tells me everything. That he wants me. That he’s willing to take it slow. That he’s not giving up.

He kisses me as if this is the only thing he wants to do for the next ten hours.

His lips barely move but I can feel everything in me surge toward him. The short wedges
I shoved on this morning suddenly feel precarious. I grip his shoulders to steady myself and then find myself rising up on my tiptoes to press deeper against him. He hauls me flush against him until I can no longer touch the floor.

His one hand palms nearly my entire back while the other angles my head for better access. He may be a virgin, but the guy knows how to kiss. His tongue is finding places inside my mouth that I didn’t even know would feel good.

All the pent up desire that has been boiling in me for days comes pouring out of me. I attack him with my next kiss, biting his lower lip, sucking on his tongue.  Against my belly I can feel the hard ridge of his erection.

“God,” I breathe as he abandons my mouth to trace the line of my jaw with his lips. He growls in response and pushes me back against the bookcases but I don’t even mind that the shelves are biting into my back. I just want more.

And he gives it to me. We cling to each other, feeding off of each other’s seemingly endless need until I hear a gasp and then a muted giggle. And those two faint sounds somehow manage to break through the haze of lust and bring with it the realization that

I am in a very public place. I wriggle against him and he sets me down reluctantly.

“We’re in the bookstore,” I say in a scandalized voice.

“You’ve never kissed a guy in the bookstore before?” He grins, the wicked mischievous one I’m beginning to associate with something tremendously naughty. “There’s a first time for everything.”

Release Day & Review: Sustained by Emma Chase

Author: Emma Chase

Book: Sustained

tl;dr recommendation: Sustained is laugh out loud funny and warmed my heart. I have no complaints to file about this legal romance!

Book Summary:

A knight in tarnished armor is still a knight.

When you’re a defense attorney in Washington, DC, you see firsthand how hard life can be, and that sometimes the only way to survive is to be harder. I, Jake Becker, have a reputation for being cold, callous, and intimidating—and that suits me just fine. In fact, it’s necessary when I’m breaking down a witness on the stand.

Complications don’t work for me—I’m a “need-to-know” type of man. If you’re my client, tell me the basic facts. If you’re my date, stick to what will turn you on. I’m not a therapist or Prince Charming—and I don’t pretend to be.

Then Chelsea McQuaid and her six orphaned nieces and nephews came along and complicated the ever-loving hell out of my life. Now I’m going to Mommy & Me classes, One Direction concerts, the emergency room, and arguing cases in the principal’s office.

Chelsea’s too sweet, too innocent, and too gorgeous for her own good. She tries to be tough, but she’s not. She needs someone to help her, defend her…and the kids.

And that — that, I know how to do.

Longer Review:

Emma tells us in her acknowledgments that she felt this story come together perfectly, that she loves it immensely and that she knew it was awesome when it was finished.You won’t hear me objecting – she’s totally fucking right.

SUSTAINED just works. Chelsea is pretty much the the best human being on the planet. She’s taken over the responsibility of raising her late brother & his wife’s SIX children after they pass away in a tragic accident. Each of those kids has a personality, and we learn allllll about them. I LOVED IT.

Jake actually enters the picture because of one of those kids and his propensity for acting out. Jake doesn’t do kids. He doesn’t do complicated. Jake just does women – lots of them. Until he finds out that there may be consequences for his desire to spread his love throughout DC.

When Jake starts helping Chelsea with the kids – way more than anyone ever asks him to – he’s like a fish out of water. It’s completely comical, hysterical and adorable. Jake’s inability to stay away may have something to do with Chelsea, whose eyes seem to pierce right through every wall he’s built. My heart clenched at the sweet moments and my pussy clenched at the sexy ones. There’s an incredible build up between Jake & Chelsea that explodes in some serious passion that will have you gasping for breath.

While the legal stuff isn’t all totally accurate (sorry. I know. plot. tell me to shut up) I could easily look past any flaws. The story is exceptional: romantic, sexy, hilarious & emotional. Sustained is laugh out loud funny and warmed my heart. I have no complaints to file about this legal romance! 4.5 stars!

[I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review]

Review: Pucked by Helena Hunting

Author: Helena Hunting

Book: Pucked

tl;dr recommendation: FUNNY SMUT ALERT. this is a must read.

Book Summary:

With a famous NHL player for a step-brother, Violet Hall is well acquainted with the playboy reputation many hockey stars come with. She’s smart enough to steer clear of those hot, well-built boys with unparalleled stamina. That is until she meets the legendary team captain—Alex Waters.

Violet isn’t interested in his pretty, beat-up face, or his rock-hard six-pack abs. But when Alex inadvertently obliterates Violet’s previous misapprehension regarding the inferior intellect of hockey players, he becomes more than just a hot body with a face to match.

In what can only be considered a complete lapse in judgment, Violet finds out just how good Alex is with the hockey stick in his pants. But what starts out as a one-night stand, quickly turns into something more. Post-night of orgasmic magic, Alex starts to call, and text, and e-mail and send extravagant—and quirky—gifts, making him difficult to ignore, and even more difficult not to like.

The problem is, the media portrays Alex as a total player, and Violet doesn’t want to be part of the game.

Longer Review:

Hilarious and wonderfully smutty, Alex and Violet are so weird together and it’s so perfect.

Violet has been around her stepbrother Buck, an NHL player, enough to know that she has zero desire to ever be a puck bunny. She’s not the fuck em and chuck em type anyway, so she’s not overly concerned when she falls into the eyes of Alex Waters, one of Buck’s teammates. She would have stayed away from Alex, but then he started speaking all literary and the blood rushed straight to her clit. I mean, can you blame the girl? A hot man picks up on a literary reference and all bets are off.

I could not stop laughing throughout this book. Violet is one of the weirdest characters I have EVER read, and I fucking loved her. She has a serious case of word vomit every time she opens her mouth. I’d say that she should install a new filter, but it’s too damn funny. This quirk of Violet’s endears Alex, but the man can’t catch a break with her. Of course, Violet is always WAY TOO QUICK to judge. She never gives him the benefit of the doubt, but Alex also hasn’t really earned it yet.

Alex’s monster cock (or Super MC, snuffie, or MC for short) is a key player in this book. So are Violet’s boobs, since Alex has the same weird fascination with them that Violet has for his MC. The sex scenes are off the charts hot and also super funny. I loved that Helena talks up the awkward shifts and weird positions. It made it so much more relatable and real.

There’s a substantial amount of geekery in this book & I loved that so much. I mean, I’m totally playing strip scrabble soon. I was also snort laughing every few pages and made a huge sadface when it ended. I love these two and I loved Helena’s writing. Five incredibly funny smutty stars.

Be prepared for a book hangover with a huge smile. READ THIS!

[I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review]